Our journey as a couple began in our high school days, but we actually met at McDonald’s. Gives people a little chuckle to hear that, but we soon found out how much that day would change our lives. We knew we were meant for one another. Four years later our life as husband and wife began in, and shortly after our we started the process to fill our nest began. Little did we know the journey we would endure. In 2003 Mrs O was diagnosed with PCOS, and though there are many struggles due to PCOS, the biggest one that impacted us was infertility.
When we first found out we were told so many things, from being told I had cancer, to I had to have a hysterectomy, to I would have to face the fact I would never have children biologically. This can be hard pill for anyone to swallow who has dreamed of carry a little one in their womb, to experience the bond you can make with this little one.
The emotions you go through can never really fully be described in words. When we tried to get to a point of facing reality of what was going on, we found out the one doctor was wrong that I did not have cancer. There was this instant spark of hope that ignited, only to be smothered by the words that followed: however PCOS causes infertility and you will never be able to have children of your own.
What joy we felt was short-lived, but we decided to put things in God’s hands because to us he has the finally say. Either way He would have the last say in what happens to growing our family. Several years later we found out we were pregnant, no drugs, no doctors… a miracle baby. We were over the moon excited. We told our family on Christmas, which was the best Christmas present we could get or give to our family. One cannot even put into words how our hearts soared with joy in knowing what God had given us.
Over seven weeks later we lost our little miracle. Still we tried to find the silver lining in the situation, which was that we could actually get pregnant. We didn’t want to be in a place of anger, even though we questioned why. We just wanted to trust God no matter the situation.
Fast forward 12+ years now and we have had five miscarriages that we know of and have tried fertility treatments among other things and we find ourselves at a crossroads of where to go. We still cannot find the peace in our heart to say we are done trying to fill our nest, but realize perhaps we can focus on building our family in another way. We have always wanted to adopt, even if we had our own. So we have decided to start raising fund to adopt.
We are hoping in this process we will find a wonderful blessing in a little one who will become part of our family. And we can gain some peace in not giving up, and finding joy in our relationship. To often we lose who we are in the process of the journey when infertility is part of the picture. We can lose the reality that though we may only have little ones in heaven, we are not a broken family or a non-existing family. Families come in all sizes and form in different ways; we realize we are no less a family than others who have children.
This journey has changed us immensely and though one would think it would have broken our relationship it has actually shown us how strong it is, and how strong we are. Our journey has tested our faith in many ways, but allowed us to realize we have grown in faith in many ways. Though this journey is long and hard, we are not finished.
Here is to continuing our journey to fill our nest. If you would like to help support us in raising fund feel free to shop in Mrs O’s Etsy Shop or make a donation by clicking button below: coming soon.