I am not one to question things as it is easier to tell myself “things happen for a reason”. I suppose it is more the fact that what is done is done and there is no going back, no changing what happened, no do over… you either learn from it and move on, or learn to deal with it and move on, or ignore it altogether. May not be choices we always like, but a choice nonetheless.
Life is full of choices if you are honest with yourself every thing you have ever done or dealt with you are face with a choice or choices. Not always ones we want to choose from, but such is life. Well, one of those days where I had choices I did not really like to pick from happened when I found three lumps in my armpit.
First it started out with just two and then another formed that was super painful. I let it go for some time, but I had to face the fact that I had to make a choice: a choose to ignore it or choose to go to doctors. I knew I really didn’t want to ignore it, but part of me thought I should it will go away. However, the truth is it wasn’t. Or I could go to the doctors and get answers and as good as that sounded I really didn’t want to go for fear of hearing something bad.
It took me three tries to see a doctor due to weather, which was oh so fun. The call had me thinking of cancer the whole time because they said that is why they needed to check out the lumps because you should not have a lump in your pit. So this left me with more choices: choose to freak out or to trust God. And as much as I try to say I am trusting him I am still human and have to constantly remind myself not to freak out. Trusting Him fully is never an easy task and I would be a liar if I said it was easy. Sure it is easy when things are going good, but when they aren’t we are tested big time.
Well, to shorten a story and not draw it out I finally saw doctor who could not explain why the lumps had gotten smaller in the week. He had never seen anything like that. To me I was like “I’ll take the miracle and not question it”. Who in their right mind wouldn’t 😉 He said or it could be due to glumetza that I am on because that has been known to help treat cancer of sorts. I still gave the glory to God because if it wasn’t for Him leading me to take that I could have found a far different outcome.
I am for doing things natural and honestly do not like taking drugs, but for some reason last year I had decided to start taking it because of the feeling I needed to be taking it. So to me it is still a blessing for listening to what He told me to do.
I still have to do checkups and followups to make sure nothing has come back. The doctor also told me how it is beneficial to check your underarms when doing self breast exams because cancer can start there and it is not normal to have a lump in the armpit unless you have just started shaving or using deodorant.
So this is my cancer scare in a nutshell and am still thankful for the outcome 🙂