Jamming with My BFF

 

I’ve really never been one to use the term: BFF.  However, I felt it was the perfect title to this post….

I was on my way home from work and since it was so nice out I decided to roll down the windows.  With the wind blowing across my face and my tunes jamming “FREE” by Mandisa, and then “He Can Handle It” by Bebe and CeCe Winans.  Music loud enough to drown out my singing 😉 as I will not profess to be a great singer.

However, as I was singing and driving I felt like for a minute I was in the car with my friends back in HS, when you are driving and singing and just enjoying your girl time… well, that is how I felt however, I saw Jesus sitting in the passenger seat jamming along with me.

For a second I just smiled and laughed.  I’ve never had that happen before and was thinking how strange for that thought to pop into my head… but hey why not.  Why shouldn’t we think of Jesus as someone we can just talk too or hang out with.  I guess I find so often that we label Him as someone so serious.  Not to say He isn’t, but why not put Him in the group where He is someone, like a BFF, riding in the car and jamming to the tunes with you?

I for one liked the idea and it felt calming.  It was well worth happening even if I am the only one it has happened to… even if it comes across as corn ballish 🙂  Hey… Jesus is my B.F.F.

 

Finding Hope, with a Dash of Peace

So the other day I was given a some hope and feel a bit of peace in this whole TTC journey.  Who would have known that someone would contact me and give me the hope I needed and help me find some peace.  I had a wonderful fellow Milspouse and Cyster contact me with some wonderful information that would help us with our TTC journey.

She had said, she thought I already knew about these options, she told me about through the military, but decided to write me anyway… and am I glad she did.  I have not been told about these options or that we do qualify for it.  She could have just not contacted us… I mean there could have been a lot of what ifs she did this or did not do this, but the point is she did contact me and that I am ever so thankful for.  You know who you are and if you are reading this thank you again.  I cannot wait to find out more information from her 🙂

So now we have been able to give more form and a timeline for what we plan to do for our journey to fill our nest.  More info to come soon, but I am just so excited that I have all these things running through my head and most of all I have renewed sense of hope; that I really needed.  I will not give up yet, but sometimes I feel like my hope flame is barely flickering and now with this new info… it’s blazing bright.

So let me say that if you ever feel lead to ask or share something with someone.. even if you are not sure or think they should or may know .. go ahead and share anyways.  It may just be what that person needed at that point… even if is just a reminder of something.  You never know what it can do for someone.

Why Did God Create Woman from Man’s Rib?

It’s amazing how God made man, and so beautiful how he made woman!

Why did God create Woman from Man’s rib, when He could
have simply created her from dust, as He did Man?  I mean when I think about it I find God has a purpose for all things He does, right?

This is a story that puts a beautiful touch on the
reasoning:

“When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke
them into being. When I created man, I formed him from
the dust of the Earth and breathed life into his
nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed
the breath of life into man because your nostrils are
too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him
so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man
was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with
the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose
the bone that protects man’s life. I chose the rib,
which protects his heart and lungs and supports him,
as you are meant to do.”

“Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I
created you perfectly and beautifully. Your
characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate
and fragile. You provide protection for the most
delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the
center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of
life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken
before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man
as the rib cage supports the body.”

“You were not taken from his feet, to be under him,
nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You
were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be
held close to his side. You are my perfect angel. You
are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a
splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I
see the virtue in your heart. Your eyes: don’t change
them. Your lips: how lovely when they part in prayer.
Your nose so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to
touch. I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep;
I’ve held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives
and breathes, you are the most like me.”

Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he
was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could
only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and
experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness,
my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and
support. You are special because you are the extension
of me.”

“Man represents my image, woman – my emotions.
Together, you represent the totality of God. So man:
treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is
fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to
her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage
your own heart, the heart of your Father and the heart
of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show
him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle
quietness show your strength. In love, show him that
you are the rib that protects his inner self.”

Image

I for one am glad my husband is who he is and treats me with love and respect and not just someone to order around.

Never Take Life for Granted!

ImageFive years ago on Easter I almost died.  Some of you may have read my story last year (on my other blog) and to some this may be new.  But since every time around this year I count my blessings twice, if not more, that I am still alive.

There are no words to explain how thankful to Christ I am, that He chose to let me live and there are no words to say how awesome He is either, but God knows that I am.

It’s a funny thing when you feel death come over you, okay maybe not really funny, but really the funny part is what crossed my mind before I thought I’d die.  So not what I expected it to be.  Ever watch movies when peoples lives flash before their eyes as they are dying… yea well I thought that would be how it was.  Or that I would think of all the things I regretted or did wrong or what (if any) unsettled business I would leave behind.  Ironically though those things never crossed my mind.  I really felt peaceful, no fighting not to let go, just peace and a calmness that felt comforting.  The only thing I thought was God please let my hubs know I love him and my family too.  And sorry for anything wrong I had done and then I let go.  That’s it… no bad thoughts, just those… and that is the last thing I remember.

The strangest thing I remember about the experience is the feeling of my body shutting down, it had had enough and was quitting.  Whether I wanted it to or not, I had not say.  Surprisingly I did not care much to put up a fight cause I just felt tired.  But if felt like everything was going in slow motion… my heart beat was all I heard, besides my few last thoughts.  Hearing my heart beat the way I did was strange… no words for how it sounded… not creepy, sorta strange, but calming too… yeah strange I know.

You see three days before Easter I was woken by a sharp stabbing pain in my ear (like something bit or stung me)… it hurt so bad that I so instantly had to go to the bathroom… so I got out of bed and started to the bathroom, which was like ten steps away.  In that time my ear swelled shut and was flaming hot.  Of course it kind of freaked me out so I yelled for my husband, who took one look at it and decided we were going to the ER.

Well, all they knew is that I possible was bit or stung by something… what?… they have no idea.  So they gave me drops (for when the swelling went down) and an extra strong antibiotic to take.  So I went home and for the next couple days kept taking the drops and pills… but despite this I still wasn’t feeling any better… actually I was feeling worse.

Then came Easter Sunday and my stubborn butt insisted on going to church…. let’s explain how much of a mess I was… my hands and feet were crayon red and itched something fierce, my olive tone to my skin was gone, I felt sick, the white parts of my eyes were all red, dark black circles under my eyes… simply put I looked like death.

Even with all of that something inside me kept saying go to church (now looking back I know that was God).  So after so fussing cause my hubs so didn’t think it was a good idea, but decided it was not worth fighting about so we went.  And lets just say I barely made it through it.  At the end we quickly left and my husband was going to go home, but something told him to take me to the ER (again God) and just as he got me to the ER is when everything went down hill.  My heart rate was off the chart and I started having a hard time breathing.

The next thing I know is the are throwing me in a wheel chair and ripping my clothes off (lets just say I didn’t like that part)… right in front of everyone.  Now normally I would have freaked cause hey I don’t want people seeing me naked.  But I couldn’t fight it.  My husband was freaked and he said he had never seen so many people so quickly rip someone’s clothes off.  They quickly rushed me to a room hooked me up to a machine and started an IV and heart thingy (can’t remember what it’s called) and slapped some needle in my arm twice… There was so many people my hubs said that he thought I was gonna die.  I guess them getting the heart zapping machine out freaked him out a bit, but it was for just in case my heart flat lined. The last thing he remembers me saying is I love you and reaching for his hand… I don’t remember saying that or doing it and I do not remember any of the shots etc.  Last thing I remember is them ripping my clothes off and wheeling me down the hall.

Thinking about it to this day feels like something out of a movie… sometimes I cannot believe that was me or that it happened to me.  Once I finally woke back up… many many hours later… the doctor explained that I was having an allergic reaction to Sulfa.  I was confused cause when I think of allergic reaction I think of something that causes symptoms quicker, but the doctor explained that with sulfa it attaches itself to things in your body and when my body rejected it my body tried killing it and since it was attached to my body my body was killing itself.  So the effects of are different, but basically my body slowly kills itself, which is why I felt sick and wasn’t getting better.  One common sign of a reaction to sulfa is having your hands and feet turn crayon red.

He did ask me why I didn’t come in sooner when I wasn’t feeling good… and honestly I said I was just thinking that whatever bit did a doozy on me.  I never thought I was having an allergic reaction, I mean why would I.

He said you truly have someone watching out for you and how everything played out happened just the way it was suppose too.  Had I just stayed in bed I would have died in my sleep.  My husband would have come in to find me and it would have been to late.  He explained that most people die from reactions to sulfa because they don’t feel good and just try to sleep it off only to die in their sleep.  If my hubs did not go to ER instead of going home the doctor said I would have probably died because I would have shut down and by the time someone got to me my air way would have been closed off.  Either way you slice it I am super blessed to be alive today.

The reality of what happened or could of happened is mind boggling.  And still to this day I am thankful for every year the Easter comes around cause it reminds me that God is not finished with me yet and I have more things to do yet.

Just a reminder to count your blessings and never take for granted the blessings and miracles God does in your life, whether big or small to you God meant them for you so that is always something awesome to have.