It’ll Be Okay…. We’ll Get a Dog

We finally went and saw the movie we saw a preview for back in April (we mentioned it in this post: God, Surprise Me!).  I thought it would hit home some what, but little did I realize how much it would.

So for those who have seen it, will know what scene I am talking about and those who don’t here is a brief run down… the couple was driving back home after being told there was nothing more that could be done for them to have a kid of their own.  Well, there was this moment when she was crying and said something like… It’ll be okay, we’ll get a dog.  Then she pauses and finally says but I don’t want a dog.  It really just hit me.

I mean I knew exactly what she meant and how she felt.  Nothing can replace the desire to have a child; sadly not even a dog.  I mean maybe to some degree it helps, but it is not the same.  I have two fur babies whom I love dearly, and to me are part of the family, and like our kids, but to me it is still not the same and it does not take away the desire to have a child.

Have you ever felt that way?  Felt like when you were at the end of your rope or even part way there… that you thought about getting something to fill that void.  Hoping it would help, but realized it would not or could not.  To be honest it is partly why I wanted a pup in the first place, but I will say it did not get rid of that desire, not in the least.  Though it does help in some ways, in easing the pain to a degree.

The other thing that really hit me was that it reminded me to never give up.  We should not give up on a dream.  It, also, shows you that when one door closes you can open another one… adoption is always and option.

This movie really had my hubs and I talking.  He shared what point stuck out to him the most, which I thought was going to be the one I said (about getting a dog) but it wasn’t.

The part that stuck out to him was the part where they are in the elevator and a mom gets into the elevator with her child.  He said no one would get how hard that was for them.  How having to hear that there was nothing more that could be done and then having to see a child, let alone someone who has a child.  This made me see my hubs in a whole new light.  Sometimes he really does not share how he feels about certain things.

He then went on to say how people don’t always get how hard it is for us to see other have kids in general.  How they get to be happy, how they can pop kids out left and right…. how it hurts us because we want one of our own so bad.  And what gets to him the most is the fact that some people even complain about having those kids, when we would give anything to be going through those crappy moments… because it would mean that we had what we wanted most.

He is so right.  It is hard to see those things or to hear those things.  Or how we should be thankful we do not have kids cause we can do whatever we want and how we have all the time in the world together.  But this is not true.  We do not have all the extra time in the world; we are both busy people… and at this point there really isn’t much else we want to do as just a couple, but then to have a kid to care for.  Oh, and the other thing is how some people will say to me that I should be glad to not have to go through being pregnant… that one gets to me cause I really want that experience.

So many things running through our head, but at the end of the day we have come to realize we are not and will not give up yet.  Oh, and that we loved the movie despite how close it hit to home.

How many of you have felt this way or had these experiences?

Jamming with My BFF

 

I’ve really never been one to use the term: BFF.  However, I felt it was the perfect title to this post….

I was on my way home from work and since it was so nice out I decided to roll down the windows.  With the wind blowing across my face and my tunes jamming “FREE” by Mandisa, and then “He Can Handle It” by Bebe and CeCe Winans.  Music loud enough to drown out my singing 😉 as I will not profess to be a great singer.

However, as I was singing and driving I felt like for a minute I was in the car with my friends back in HS, when you are driving and singing and just enjoying your girl time… well, that is how I felt however, I saw Jesus sitting in the passenger seat jamming along with me.

For a second I just smiled and laughed.  I’ve never had that happen before and was thinking how strange for that thought to pop into my head… but hey why not.  Why shouldn’t we think of Jesus as someone we can just talk too or hang out with.  I guess I find so often that we label Him as someone so serious.  Not to say He isn’t, but why not put Him in the group where He is someone, like a BFF, riding in the car and jamming to the tunes with you?

I for one liked the idea and it felt calming.  It was well worth happening even if I am the only one it has happened to… even if it comes across as corn ballish 🙂  Hey… Jesus is my B.F.F.

 

Falling In Love All Over Again

ImageSo today we were going through the boxes in the basement.  The ones we still have yet to go through from our move.  So many things just got put into boxes by the movers and they unpacked and repacked stuff we had already had in boxes, which leaves us with the job of going through them.  We need to figure out what to keep, to put in storage back home, and what if at all we are going to get rid of.

Well, while we were going through one of the boxes we came across some of the stuff we had put in a box of memories.  It’s a box of stuff we were given from family or things we like and don’t want to part with, thing we’d pass down etc.  That is when I came across a little plastic box full of letters and wondered what it was.  Just when I was about to ask the hubs if it was his he grabs it from my hands.

Guess it was his lol.  He opened it and I was like what are all those and he was like they are all the letters you sent me while I was in basic and tech school.  Then my dumb butt says I didn’t send any (then I thought… did I?).  He was like really you don’t remember sending me these.

I started opening them and reading them.  Then there was the letters from all the daycare kids I sent him, and the calling cards, and pictures, and the paper work for our wedding he had to fill out to come back for, the hotel receipt from when I visited him, and his plain tickets etc.  Anything and everything from basic and tech school was in there.  I had no idea he kept those.  I was touched.

I asked him why he kept them and he said why wouldn’t I.  It is what got him through the time we were apart.  I just hugged him and said I loved him.  I don’t know, it just really touched my heart that he kept all those things… made me fall in love with him all over again.

However, I do feel kinda of dumb for not remembering how many letters and cards I had sent him lol.