So what’s the worst thing about PCOS? Do you have a worst? The hubs and I were sitting here talking and I was listing off the things that I hate about PCOS, and how it just feels so unfair sometimes. But who doesn’t feel like that when they have something wrong with them… in all honesty I am sure everyone can relate to the feeling of life not being fair.
I was saying, basically listing off, anything I could think of that I have disliked because of PCOS… and the thing is there are a lot of them, and I am sure everyone I listed off, most Cysters could relate to at least one of them or all. The biggest thing for me is feeling like a failure when it comes to giving my hubs a child. However, how often do we hear what our spouse thinks the worst thing is? Do they speak of it? Do they tell you? Do you ask? or are you afraid to ask? It was in that moment I asked him what he hated most about it.
This is what he had to say:
The thing I hate the most is that it has robbed me (Mrs. O) of many things: happiness, confidence, dreams, etc. How it has robbed our marriage of the same things. However, despite those things he says it has shown him many wonderful things about me (Mrs. O) as well. How I have grown into the person I am today, how though it may have taken me time to find myself again… the point is I did. He sees my daily fight as an inspiration because many people would quit if they were in my shoes.
And here I thought he would just list off a bunch of negatives. His comment really hit me and in a good way. However, I had to ask how he felt about me not being able to give him a child… did he see me as a failure? Did I rob him of his dream of having a family. Even though part of me really didn’t want to know, I had to know how he really felt.
No he did not see me as a failure. Even though he wants to have a child that does not mean we cannot have a child through adoption or other means. And even if we never had a child he would still die a happy man. Kid or no kid we are family just as we are… a child does not make us more a family than we are now.
He has a great point we are a family and we have always thought about adopting even if we had our own. Despite that, it is still hard to not feel like I have failed him in some way, but his answers show me more of why I married him… why I fell in love with him. God truly knew who I needed when he gave me him. This moment made me fall in love with him even more.
So fellow Cysters have you ever asked your spouse the thing they find the worst about PCOS? Also, what is the one thing that you find the worst? Let me know in a comment.